My Love is Dangerous But Silent
by WheelOfFourtris
Summary: Lilly Eaton has been abused far beyond fixing. When she follows Tobias to dauntless three years after his initiation, does she find someone she can love other than her brother? Will she find someone for her to love or will she continue to be abused despite her leaving Abnegation.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys so I decoded to start another fanfiction with Eric having a love interest. I think the Eric in the movie I wayyyyy too hot not to have a girl friend so I hope you enjoy.**

**Please review and tell me if I am doing anything wrong. Also complements are always good! Also I need reviews saying if I should continue or not because I honestly don't know if You will like my story. I hope you love it.**

**ALL RIGHTS TO VERONICA ROTH**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

My whole body is trembling as I wait for my name to be called. My dad is sitting beside me and keeps glancing at me. Every time I feel his gaze on me it feels like my body is on fire. It's like he is slowly burning me with his eyes and I am slowly suffocating by the smoke and flames. All I know is despite his beatings and numerous acts of verbally putting me down, I will go against his orders of staying in Abnegation. I will soon be gone.

Marcus has been beating me torturing me more than he ever has before. When Tobias was here he wouldn't let Marcus lay a finger on me. When Marcus did have the chance to hurt me Tobias would always be sent away to help the Factionless or run some pointless errand.

I will not be sorry for leaving Abnegation. Though I'm not gonna lie, I'm utterly frightened to switch to a new faction. I haven't talked to a person other than Marcus in three years. Well, except for my test administer Tori, who didn't give me my test results for some odd reason and just shoved me out the door as quickly as possible.

Anyways Marcus has hurt me more after Tobias left. Marcus is so angry that he left that he started taking it out on me. In the last three years I have been burned with knives, whipped by his belt, forced to take birth control pills, and raped almost every week. Since I have been burned with knives I have developed a fear over them. Whenever I see them I get really sweaty, and start to shake uncontrollably. It is not a pretty site.

Suddenly my name is called.  
"Lilliana Eaton."

I brush my sweaty palms on my grey dress and shakily rise from my seat. I reach the white bowls and only look at the ones to my left. Abnegation and Dauntless.

I don't wince when I slice my palm. I only wince when my makes a sizzling noise when it's hits the coals.

The Dauntless cheer but they aren't the ones I'm paying attention to. I fix my gaze on my fathers face as I walk to the dauntless crowd. He scowls at me and I quickly turn away.

When one of the dauntless stands to give me their seat he pats me on the back and I try so hard not to cry out in pain. By some miracle I manage to keep my composure.

The ceremony is soon over and I start to run out of the compound with the other transfers and dauntless. My hair quickly falls out of my bun. My dark brown waves cascade down my back and fly with the wind. I have never felt more alive than I am right now.

I climb up a pole to get to the train tracks. I am so excited. I have always wondered what it felt like to jump onto a train. The train comes into my site. The dauntless start to run and I soon follow. I jump onto the train successfully but not without ripping my dress a little and almost slipping out of the train. But hey, I think that is getting on successfully for an Abnegation.

"Hey blue eyes, you're pretty sexy for an Abnegation. Where did you come from?"

I look up to see a a boy wearing blue clothing with a smirk that I am pretty repulsed by him. I don't answer him. I just look back down at my lap and hope he will leave me alone.

"Oh so you don't talk? That just going to make my life a whole lot easier."

No one steps in to help me. Lately no one has wanted anything to do with the Abnegation because of the reports that have been released.

Suddenly I hear someone shout, "Get ready!"

We jump from the train to the roof top and my heart is beating so hard and so fast that I think that It might come out of my chest right now.

Once everyone is on the roof a man with short blonde cropped hair with an eyebrow piercing is standing on an edge of a big opening, not caring that he might fall to his death.

"My name's Eric. I'm a leader here at Dauntless. So who's gonna be first to jump. It's your choice either jump or become Factionless."

"Is there something to catch us when we fall", an Erudite boy speaks up.

Eric replies by saying," Why don't you jump and find out."

The Erudite boy shrinks back to where he is standing. A boy dressed in black jumps first. As more and more people jump I shake a bit more. I absolutely hate heights. I am lost in thought until I hear someone shout.

"Hey Stiff are you gonna jump or become factionless?"

I look around me and realize I am the only person left. I walk up to the ledge. I can't bring myself to jump.  
"Is there something wrong", Eric asks clearly annoyed. I don't do anything.  
"Do you not talk or something?"  
Again I don't reply.

" God! Stiffs shouldn't even be allowed to choose dauntless. They're too damn stupid and annoying for their own g-", I cut him off by pushing him over the ledge, but to my surprise he quickly grabs my arm and brings my down with him.

I start to scream. I'm falling so fast. I'm on top of Eric and I holding onto him out of fear. Our fall suddenly comes to a stop and I am on top of Eric breathing heavily. I stare into his icy blue eyes an notice that to others would find them cold and frightening. I however, find my self shivering and feel butterflies in my stomach.

Eric clears his throat and stops staring into my eyes. He shakes his head and slips out from under me and jumps from the net. He grabs my arms and pulls me down.

Out of the corner of my eye I see piercing dark blue eyes that match mine.

Tobias. Tobias. Tobias.

I run. I run to him. I jump onto him and give him a hug. He almost falls backward. I think he has to wait a couple second till he figures out who he is hugging.

I can't blame him. Last time he saw me I had no curves whatsoever and way shorter hair because he is the one that used to cut it for me. Now I ha a size C chest and a relatively good sized butt. I know that I'm not ugly, but under all these close there are scars on my back, stomach, hips, breasts, and butt. No one is going to find that desirable. People will probably find that repulsing.

Once Tobias figures out who he is hugging he breathes out my name barely a whisper, "Lilly?"

He kisses the top of my head and pulls me tighter to his chest. I am in pain from the pressure he is putting on my wounds, but I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

I with the only person that I will ever love. The only person that will ever love me.

"So I'm guessing you two know each other", Eric questions.

I turn away from Tobias and look at Eric. He looks like is going to throw up and he stands stiffer than he was before.

Tobias speaks up, "Yes she's my sister."

Eric's posture slackens a bit. "Wow Four I didn't know that you had a sister. What other secret have you been hiding from me?" Four? I turn to Tobias with a questioning look, but he continues to stare at Eric. I will ask him about it later.

Page Break

Once we explore our living arrangements I am disgusted by having to change, shower and go to the bathroom in front of anyone.

I walk into the dining hall with the other initiates and they all sit down. No one looks at me. No one invites me to sit with them. I don't think the initiates want to associate with me. Suddenly I feel a hand on my arm and I immediately flinch away. I turn to see a very pretty girl with blonde hair and grey blue eyes.

"Oh, um sorry. Hi, my names Tris. You're Four's sister right?"

I nod.

"Would you like to come sit with us?"

I nod again and follow her. I sit down beside my brother and immediately feel uncomfortable because everyone stares. I see two dark skinned boys that almost look exactly the same along with girls at each of their sides. Also next to Tris is a dark skinned girl and a boy.

"Who's this", the dark skinned girl questions.

Tobias introduces everyone to me. "This is Zeke, Shauna, Marlene, Uriah, Christina, Will, and my girlfriend Tris. Guys this is my sister."

"Wow", Zeke exclaims,"I'm your best friend even I didn't know you had a sister." Every one at the table nods in agreement except for Tris. I look down at my lap.

"What's your name", Will asks.

I don't reply.

My brother speaks up, "Hey can you come with me for a second." I look up and realize he is looking straight at me. I follow him out of the dinning hall and into a hall way.

"Lilly what's wrong? You haven't talked to anyone here yet including me." He puts a hand on my back an I wince. His eyes practically bug out of his head when he sees me wince. "I'm taking you to my apartment."

When we arrive to his apartment I panic. I don't want him to  
Be upset for leaving me. He probably thinks it's his fault for not protecting me but he's wrong.

"Will you let me see?"

I shake my head and look down to the floor.

"Please, Lilly I love you so much. I need to see that your okay."

He's right. My wounds aren't bandaged and they might get infected. I take off my abnegation sweater, my dress, and my tank top. Now I stand before my brother in my bra and underwear. I don't feel awkward. We used to see each other in our undergarments all the time because we cleaned up each other's wounds.

He lets a tear fall down his face and tells me to lie faced down on the couch. My back is covered in black, blue, purple, and green bruises. I have gashes everywhere and hand print on my thighs and arms.

Tobias is such a good brother. He cleans and wraps up all my wounds. I feel so much better now. We don't speak it's a comfortable silence but I know he is worried about me.

Tobias gets up to throw away some things he used to clean my back.  
" He raped me", I say in such a low whisper I don't even think I said anything out loud. Tobias stops in his tracks. He rushes back toward me and sit on the couch, pulling me up into his lap while I'm curled in a ball.

"When", Tobias questions angrily.

Hoping my voice wouldn't break I reply, "Once every week since you left."

Suddenly the door opens and Tris walks in. She gasps.

Tobias looks up at her holding me tighter, "can you let her borrow some of you clothes"

"Yeah, of course", tris answers and soon comes back with a pile of clothes and some boots. "I think we're the same size in every thing except the tops. You have a bit more going on upstairs than I do", Tris jokes. I chuckle because I know it's true. I put on the skinny cotton pants,boots, and stretchy tank top. Tobias gets up and brings me one of his sweaters and it reaches past my butt.

Tris was right we have the same shoe and pants size. We are also the same height.

"You should probably go back to the initiate dorms and get some sleep." I will be there to wake everyone in the morning with Eric. Four will join us later. He has to work in the control room in the morning."

Tris is so nice. By her angelic voice alone I know that she will be great for my brother. She would be a great mom some day. "Bye thank you", I reply feeling comfortable with her.  
She hugs me before I leave and tells me, "Bye see you tomorrow, oh and by the way you have a really pretty voice. You should use it more often." I smile then exit their apartment.

B


	2. Chapter 2

**I feel like this chapter was a little short so I am posting two chapters today. I hope you like it. By the way thank you for all those who followed and favorited me. also thank you for all the reviews! Also just to let you know I am open to suggestion. I will not guarantee that I will use your suggestions but I might get ideas from them.**

**ALL RIGHTS TO VERONICA ROTH**

**REVIEW PRETTY PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP!**

Nightmares. Last night all I had was nightmares. Marcus was all I could think about. What if he comes back for me? I don't know what I would do.

I get out of bed and put on black clothing that covers all my bandages and scars. Once I'm dressed I notice that everyone else is still in deep slumber. I'm not surprised. Abnegation used to get up early all the time. I walk out of the dorms and towards the dining hall. Tobias, Tris, and all their friends are eating together.

Tris glances towards me and follows me towards her with her hands. I go and sit next to her.

"Good morning, I thought you would wake up earlier than all the others", Tris says to me.

"So", Christina says,"Are you going to tell us your name or..."

All eyes are on me. I look at my lap.

Tobias answers for me,"She will tell you her name herself when she's ready." I take a muffin from the center of the table and start nibbling on it. I drown out all the conversation around me. When I am halfway through my muffin I feel full and get up to throw the rest away.

"Wait", I think Uriah says," you didn't finish your muffin. If you are going to throw it away at least give it to me."

I hand him the remaining half of my muffin and it shoves the rest in his mouth.

Tris stands from her seat. "I'm going to go set up for training", she turns towards me, you wanna come and help me?" I nod and turn to go out of the training room, but I am met with someone's chest and I almost fall to the ground. Strong hands wrapping around my arms keep me from falling though. I look up and I am met with icy blue eyes and a familiar shiver goes through my body. I immediately know it's Eric. He stares back into my eyes.

Suddenly Eric abruptly lets go of me. He clears his throat a couple times and I find myself staring at his clearly built body through his tight black t-shirt.

"Uh-", he clears his throat again, "watch where your going stiff."

With that Eric walks away and the whole table is looking at me.

Zeke is the first one to speak, "Oh, it looks like someone's got a crush."

"My sister does not have a crush on Eric", my brother sneers.

"I'm not saying she does, Eric's the one that has the crush. You better watch out Four or you might have a new brother in-law.

Tris interrupts the friends quickly saving me from the awkwardness, "come on little sis lets go to the training room." I am fine with her calling me that. It's better than what everyone else calls me, Stiff.

Zeke has got to be kidding Eric would never be interested in me. His body, his eyes, his skin, his looks, and his voice is all too perfect. I'm undesirable in my opinion. Girls have got to be fawning all over him all the time. I will have to ask Tris about that later.

Page Break

When Tris and I are finished setting up for training, I realize that today we are learning how to shoot a gun. I'm excited for today. I have always wanted to know what it feels like to have the power of holding a gun in my hands. I want to know what it feels like to pull the trigger.

Eric walks in and the other initiates soon file in. We all stand in a line facing Tris and Eric.

Tris speaks first, "The first thing you learn how to do in dauntless to jump on and off a train. I know you guys can all do that because you would be here if you couldn't do that simple task."

Then Eric speaks," Next you will learn how to shoot a gun. That is what we are doing today."

Tris speaks again,"Everyone take a gun and get in front of the target. Eric and I will demonstrate how to shoot a gun properly."

They both walk up to targets and shoot five rounds. I watch closely seeing where they place their feet and all the big and small details about their stance.

They turn back to us. "What are you waiting for?", Tris says. Then we all scramble to get a gun and stand in front of the target.

I copy the stance Tris was in when she was shooting her gun and pull the trigger. I stumble back a little from the recoil and see that I had hit at the second circle from the outer ring. Not too bad right?

I take my stance again and prepare for the recoil. Focusing on the middle circle I inhale then as soon as I pull the trigger I exhale.

The bullet went through the edge of the middle circle of the target and I smile to myself. I do the same as I did before but I focus more on what I'm shooting rather than my stance, because I think I have my stance down. Then I shoot.

I blink. I blink. I blink. The bullet is dead center. I can't believe it! I did it. I shoot a couple more rounds getting it in the center. I feel someone come up behind me. They touch my shoulder, and I flinch away from the contact. But then I realize -

It's Eric.

I have his touch memorized. Every time he touches me I freeze, I start to shiver. But it's weird. When he touches me it's not just cold. My skin feels hot like he just burned me. I don't know what it means, but I like it and I want more.

"Uh- good job", Eric stutters quietly. I don't know why but he is always stuttering around me.

We keep shooting until about 11:00. At 12:00 we have an hour for lunch and then we have to meet back here.

Tris yells over the bullets.

"Okay stop! First one to get ten bullets on the bullseye gets to leave for lunch early. Ready, Go!"

I take my stance and start rapidly shoot at the middle target. I get ten in the middle and look around to see that everyone around me is still shooting. I scoff because they are shooting very slowly. I look at my target to look at my work and feel very proud of myself.

Bang! I feel a sharp pain on the back of my left shoulder and fall to the ground. I scream. The pain of a bullet hurts more than anything I have ever known. I look to see who the person was the shot me and my eyes land on that candor boy that was teasing me earlier, Chase I think his name was.

"Oops?", he says teasingly while covering his mouth to hid the growing smirk.

Then I feel my head get heavy. So I close my eyes and rest my head on the floor while crying from the pain.

I feel his touch again. His touch that makes me want to be held by him forever. Eric pulls me into his arms and I start to be jostled back and forth. He's running with me.

I squint open my eyes and see his beautiful face. I can't help but feel the urge to place kisses all over his face. What is wrong with me? With that thought I fall asleep in his arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Here's the second chapter I promised. I hope you enjoy it. **

**All rights to queen Veronica Roth**

**Review Please!**

Eric POV

She looks so helpless lying in my arms. I run. I run as fast as I can to the infirmary. I see Four out of the corner of my eye. Walking the other way. He hasn't seen her yet. As I'm running I yell out to him,"Four!"

He turns around and immediately looks at the body in my arms. He starts running with me. I'm getting weird looks all around me but I don't really give a fuck.

I reach the infirmary, "Help! An initiate got shot in her left shoulder just a few minutes ago." A nurse comes and brings over a gurney and I gently place her down on it. The doctor and a couple of nurses come and put her in a room and tend to her. I want to stay and be there when she wakes up but I have a feeling I need to kick an initiate's ass right now.

I turn to go back to the training room, but I am stopped when someone punches me in the face. That someone just happens to be Four. I punch him back in the jaw.

I yell at Four, "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ERIC? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SISTER?"

"FOUR YOU THINK I AM THE ONE THAT DID THIS? A STUPID INITIATE DID THIS! APPARENTLY HE DOES'NT KNOW HOW TO USE A FUCKING GUN!"

With that I stomp away back to the training room.

The stupid initiates are still shooting.

I yell, "LISTEN UP I WANT EVERY ONE TO DO 20 MORE ROUNDS ABD THEN YOU CAN LEAVE. ALRIGHT?"

I say this in my scariest instructor voice you would ever hear.

Then I sneer, "Except for you", and point to Chase.

"START!"

I walk over to Tris. "You can leave for lunch. Your boyfriend is in the infirmary with the Stiff."

"You sure", she questions.

"Positive", I smirk, thinking about what I am planning to do to Chase.

"Okay", she speaks warily but still walks out of the training room.

"INITIATES! On second thought I want every one to stop shooting and gather around Chase's target."

Everyone does what I told them and Chase looks like he's about to shit his pants.

I walk up to him with our faces inches apart.

"Did you shoot an initiate today", I question in a voice so low it can sometimes be even more scary when I am yelling.

"N-no uh sa-sir", the pathetic boy stutters.

I smirk with amusement in my voice, "Are you lying to me?"

I turn to the other initiates without waiting for an answer from him, "Did Chase shoot the Stiff?" I get no answer. God the pack of transfers this year must be dumb as shit. "DID HE?"

"Yes sir", all the initiates say together. They all look at me scared. Some of them are even trembling.

I turn back to Chase, "Oh, so you did lie to me. STAND IN FRONT OF THE TARGET!"

I pick up a gun and aim it towards him. "I'd stay still if I were you because if you move, consider yourself dead. And I don't particularly have a problem with that."

I shoot bullets all around him outlining his body, but I don't forget to "accidentally" shoot him in the foot. Chase starts to cry out in pain.

"THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT PLAYING AROUND WITH A FUCKING GUN!"

I look around to see all the initiates even more scared than they were before. Perfect, "Okay, it's lunch EVERYONE OUT!"

Some initiates go and help him out of the training room and that's when I notice Max standing in the back of the room. Oh fuck, I'm in some deep shit.

"I came in here to see how Tris was doing on her first day of training, but then it got interesting so I stayed. And Eric", Max sigh then starts to chuckle, " are you going soft because man you are whipped."

I stare at him in horror. Do I have a crush on the Stiff? I don't even know here name!

FUCK!


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry for such a short chapter! I had such a busy day today. I promise that I will make an extra long chapter tomorrow! If I don't make a chapter that is about twice the size of this assume I have been taken over by the devil or have died.**

**All rights to Veronica Roth**

**REVIEW PLEASE!**

Lilly's POV

I open my eyes to bright lights. I hear the noise of a fork clanging against a plate and someone chewing. I feel someone's hand in mine.

When I look down at my hand to see who is holding it I am puzzled by what I see.

A pale hand about the same size of mine sit in my hand. I look up to see Tris smiling at me.

"Hey hon, I'm glad to see that your awake."

I look to the right of Tris and find the source of the noise I had heard when I first woke up. Tobias Is sitting in a chair eating chocolate cake. I smile and start to quietly laugh.

Tobias stops his meaningful task of consuming the cake and looks up from from his plate. He look at me confused.

With the chocolatey dessert still in his mouth he says," What? Tris says cake makes everything better!"

I smile I love that I can see this side of him with Tris. No one else gets to and I am ok with that.

I smile and say,"It can't be that good."

My brother's eyes bug out of his head. Tobias get out of his chair and takes the fork that was just in his mouth and takes a chunk of the cake. I sit up and he puts it towards my mouth. I take a bite.

Bliss, chocolaty goodness, and fireworks erupt in my mouth.

I moan and savor the taste in my mouth.

Tobias speaks up,"You see my little Lilly pad has a bit of a sweet tooth. When we were in abnegation I supposedly helped out with the factionless. During this time I actually was trying to get apples from the amity or chocolate from dauntless. When I came home with this stuff Lilly pad's eyes would just light up. So I tried to get it whenever I could."

Tris smiles at our story. I suddenly hear a grumbling sound.

"I guess I'm hungry", Tris says.

I feel bad for making them miss lunch. "Go ahead", I tell them,"get something to eat. I'm fine here."

"Okay",Tobias says.

The get up to leave but just before they exit Tris points at me," you need some food too missy so I'm going to bring you some food afterwords." With that she leaves.

Page Break

I must have fallen asleep because when I open my eyes I feel another hand enclosed on mine. This one is much larger than Tris's. Still tired I lazily look up and see the familiar icy blue eyes that sparkle like crystals. I learned to love his eyes. I feel the familiar burning on my skin and shiver from looking at his eyes too long.

He shakes his head, clears his throat, and removes his hand from mine.

"Umm I j-just came to a- um know if you are good enough to go to training uh tomorrow", Eric says scratching the back of his neck.

I look up at him. I want to talk to him but I just can't. I can't trust anyone.

The only reason I trust tris is because Tobias trusts her and she earned my trust through him.

I nod and look down at my lap.

"Tris brought you some food."

I glance at the tray and I don't feel very hungry.

"You should uh eat something. You know so a- to I mean so you could get ur a strength back."

He places the tray in front of me. I

Look at the weird substance in front of me. It's a piece of meat in between two pieces of bread.

Eric must sense my confusion. "It's a hamburger."

I stare at him with a puzzled face. I have never heard of hamburger before.

Eric chuckles and takes the tray from me. "This is how I like mine", he puts lettuce tomato and onions on the sandwich and adds some red sauce to it. "I normally just eat it whole but your small so I'll cut it in half." He cuts the sandwich in half and places it back on the tray right next to the dauntless cake.

I pick it up and hesitantly take a bite. My eyes light up the excitement. Is dauntless food always this good.

Eric chuckles probably because I'm devouring the hamburger like it's my last meal, but he quickly covers his laugh with a cough.

Once I finish half of it I am pretty full. Start to eat the dauntless cake and finish it faster than the hamburger.

"Can I ask you a question?"

I nod my head.

"Why don't you ever talk to anyone?"

I pull my knees to my chest and bite my lip. I look up into his beautiful eyes opening and closing my mouth. I want words to come out, but they can't. He reaches up to my face and brushes his thumb underneath my eye.

"Why are you crying?"

I touch my face and realize that he's right I am crying.

Suddenly the gang bursts through the door and at that moment I realize how close we are to each other. We both back away from each other at a safer distance.

"You better be at training tomorrow stiff because I'm not fucking putting up with your slack! Got it?"

Eric says this in his instructor voice and I realize that I don't like this side of him very much. I nod letting another tear fall down my face.

Walking out of the room he says, "Because IT'S NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM YOU GOT SHOT."

He pushes past the door leaving everyone silent.

"Are you okay", Zeke says.

I smile at everyone and nod to let everyone standing before me that I am fine. However, they don't seem too convinced because of the tears falling down my face.

Page Break

Just before dinner I got out of my hospital room and made started to make my way over to the dining hall.

Once I get there I sit at my usual table with the gang, Tobias and Tris. They all look at me. I give them all a confused look.

Tris is the first one to speak. "Has anyone told you about what Eric did to the transfer that shot you today."

I shake my head. What did he do? Did he kill him? Why would he care so much anyways. He clearly doesn't like me if he yelled at me like that.

Uriah tells the story,"So Eric was really pissed that that Chase dude shot you so he made him stand in front of the target and he shots bullets outlining the little shit's body. Then he shot him in the foot."

Then Christina intervenes,"Yeah and he yelled a lot!"

I stare at them with a look of pure shock. Why would he do that? To me he looks like he couldn't care less.

We eat and I block everyone's conversation out. Eric is so confusing. Does he hate me or could he possibly have feelings for me. I think I'm going to talk to Tris about it tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys I'm sorry that I died but erudite injected a special serum in me to make me alive again. I don't think I going to be posting everyday just to let you know. Oh and to the people that said they don't think Eric would stutter this chapter answers why he does.**

**All rights to ****Veronica**** Roth**

**Review Please**

I have nightmares again. I don't feel very hungry so I don't think I'm going to breakfast. I pull on my clothes for today and walk out of the dorm.

I think I am going to see if Tris any help setting up. I walk to the training room hearing my footsteps against the concrete. Is it always this quiet in the morning at dauntless.

When I arrive at the training room Tris isn't there. Instead I see Eric working out. He is punching furiously at a punching bag. I have never noticed before how ripped Eric is. He has tattoos all over his arms and a tattoo of the Erudite faction symbol on fire.

Did he transfer from Erudite? I pulled out of my thoughts when the chain breaks and falls to the floor.

Eric moves on to the next punching bag and continues his workout. I haven't noticed that I'm walking towards him until I am about five feet away from him. I notice he has clearly defined abs and I think I'm starting to sweat more than he is.

I almost gasp when I see his neck. He has small circular scar all over it. I have know idea what that could be from. I take a step backwards to try to quietly get out of here, but I fail when I stumble over a chain from a punching bag. Eric whips around quickly and punches me in the abdomen. Then he grabs my arms twists me around and knee me in the lower back. I cry out in pain from what he just did to me plus all the movement making my bullet wound cause me excruciating pain.

I look up into his beautiful eyes and he looks shocked. Then it is quickly replaced with what I think is hatred.

"What the fuck are you doing here Stiff? Training doesn't start for another hour."

I'm not used to the dauntless ways of controlling my emotions so, I accidentally let a tear shed down my face.

"If you don't need anything then I suggest you get out of here before I mistaken you for a punching bag."

I think you already have, I want to say to him. Your so confusing, I want to say to him. Why can't you get out of my head, I want to say to him. I want to say so many things to him but I'm too shy. Too shy too scared that every one is going to hurt me like Marcus did or what Eric did today.

I get up and run of of the training room and cry. I cry till I feel that no more tears can come out. I cry till I feel like there is a rock in my throat and I can't swallow it. I'm choking. Choking on my tears, my past, and my present.

I realize that I have found myself in an empty hallway with a dead end and have curled myself into a ball in the corner. What am I thinking? I cod never be dauntless. I can never be like my brother. I can never get over the pain.

I look at my watch to see that it is 5 minutes till training. I wipe my face with my shirt and jog to the training room not knowing where in dauntless I am.

I arrive in the training room just as a the other initiates get there. Eric is standing in the middle of the room the front of the room with his arms crossed in front of him . Tris standing beside him looking similar.

"Okay today you will be learning how to win a fight", Says this gesturing to the punching bags and the fighting ring in the room.

"Everyone pick a punching bag and Tris will show you the basic moves."

I study Tris. Her swift movement and her speaking of how to properly attack your opponent is what I need to focus on. I will get into dauntless and I will succeed here.

"Now you guys try it", Tris says this not even out of breath.

I practice all the moves Tris was showing us. I kick and punch the bag but it's barely even swinging. I feel a hand on my back and immediately tense, but I quickly relax once I realize who it is.

"Hey, you need to relax. Stop being so tense the movements will come easier and quicker."

I turn to Tris and give her a smile then immediately turn back to the punching bag.

I pick up my water bottle from the ground and take a sip.

"Come on Stiff this is pathetic!",Eric yells. "You don't need water! You need to stop drinking and start doing something productive in your sorry excuse for a life!"

He is right next to me now yelling in my ear. He continues to tell me that I am worth nothing that it was a mistake choosing dauntless. I can't take it any more. I can't! So I lose it.

I quickly go to the other side of the punching bag and punch it so hard that it hits Eric in the face. He moves to the side of the punching bag and is see blood gushing out of his nose.

The whole room is silent. You can literally hear it when blood drops from his nose and onto the floor. He looks angry. Who could blame him right? I put my hands up I the air and make a face to make it look like I'm saying, oopsies.

"Ok it's lunch every get out", Eric growls. Nobody moves. "NOW!"

I chuckle and start to walk out the door.

"You think this is funny initiate?"

With a sudden burst of confidence I nod my head smirking with my arms folded across my chest.

He starts walking towards me, but Tris quickly throws her body in front of mine. She throws her arms up in defense, "Hey, hey, hey, no hurting the initiates. Max's orders. Remember?"

Eric huffs in frustration,"You better watch it Stiff."

When Eric leaves the room I turn to Tris.

"Uh, Tris."

"Yah." She turns to me.

"Um, I have been meaning to ask you something", I clear my throat. "Why was Eric acting so different now than he was when I first got here. I mean- I don't- I can't- "

"It's ok. I know what you mean. I don't know I noticed it too. He seemed nicer than I have ever seen him in my life when you first got here, but it was like since yesterday he started to become ruthless again. Especially to you for some reason."

I stare at her not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say.

"I will figure it out if you want me to. I'll ask him about it at lunch."

"Yeah, can you?"

"Absolutely, now come on let's go to lunch. You must be starving because don't think I didn't notice you not coming to breakfast this morning."

We walk out of the training room and into the dining hall. I immediately walk towards my brothers table. Tris doesn't sit down and walks straight towards Eric. Tobias turns to me and gives me a questioning look. I just shrug and start to eat what I know now as a hamburger.

I look over to see Tris talking to an angry Eric. She starts walking towards the exit with Eric following her. After Eric passed me I wait a few seconds and get up to follow them.

They stop walking when they get to a dark hallway around the corner.

"Okay Eric, what's your deal", Tris whispers.

Eric opens his mouth to say something, but he is quickly cut off by Tris speaking again.

"Don't even think about saying you don't know what I am talking about. Do you have feelings for her or not? Because she's from Abnegation and she's had a hard life so you can't be screwing it up more than it already is", Tris scolds.

"What? Are you talking about me and the stiff! Absolutely n-"

"Cut the crap Eric! Just tell me! Everyone with eyes can see that you like her! "

He silently yells and throws his hands up,"And that's the problem. I'm not supposed to like anyone. I'm not supposed to show any feeling to anyone. Max noticed, and he says that it is unprofessional for and initiate to be with his instructor."

I see Tris have a faint blush appear on he cheeks.

"I'm a dauntless leader. That means I should have a private life. I'm too busy."

Tris is getting angry,"Who says you can't have a private life? You're just making up lame excuses."

"Bye Tris", he say turning away from her.

"Fine just run away from your problems! You know what I think the real reason you are being rude to her all the sudden is beca-"

"Because what, huh? Because I know that she will never like me back? Because whenever I have feelings for someone they run away because they think I'm incapable of loving them, or they think I'm a ruthless person that is only capable of being an emotionless piece of shit?"

Does he really think that? I don't know what people have turned him down, but they must have not been from Erudite if they did.

"Eric I wasn't going to-"

"Yeah whatever, now you know why I am always so nervous around her. When I was in Erudite I was too fucking scared of everyone. I stuttered and let everyone walk all over me. That's one of the reasons I joined dauntless, so I would have to deal with this anymore. She is making me stutter again, she is making me soft again and I can't have that!"

Eric walks down a different hallway and doesn't come past me. Tris starts to walk back to the dining hall but I stop her. She makes a small yelp.

"My gosh you scared me. Did you just hear all of that?"

I nod my head.

"Well now we know why he was acting like that."

"Yeah", I reply.

"Come on let's go eat", Tris says pulling me by my arm.

I wiggle out of her grip," I'm not very hungry."

I walk away looking for a place to let myself think. I am walking for about ten minutes until I come across the chasm. I sit on the ledge and look at the flowing water underneath me.

Why doesn't Eric think that people think he is incapable of having feelings. I can't imagine living my life as a miserable leader that only works 24/7. I think his problem is that he is to scared to let anyone love him or care about him. Maybe he

Isn't used to it. I certainly am not used to having people care about me.

Thoughts like this run through my Ming until I look down at my watch and see that it is ten minutes till training. I don't want to go because I know Eric is in a bad mood

Page Break

As soon as I walk into the training room I see a board with all of our names on it. There is only three pair because more and more people are getting scared to transfer to dauntless because of the new rules.

Since Tobias doesn't go to work in the control room after lunch he is here and is the first one to speak, "Now that you have learned the technics on how to take down an opponent it is time to put those skills to the test."

Tris speak, "You will fight till one of you is unable to continue." I can see that Tris winced a little at her words, but I don't think anyone else noticed.

"These are your opponents I put you against", Eric tells us. I can still tell that he is angry from his previous argument with Tris.

At first I didn't read the board. When I finally read it, it says:

Drake - Amber

Chase - Stiff

Tina - Megan

I read the board over and over again until I have it engraved in my mind. I'm against Chase. I'm against Chase!

He has got to be kidding me. Chase has been eyeing me like a piece of meat every since that day in the train.

I stand by the ring and mindlessly watch the fight between Drake and Amber. I barely pay attention because Drake is huge and Amber is about 5 inches taller than me and I am 5'3. Drake is about 6'3 and he is really buff not as buff as Eric, but he's pretty big. Drake will obviously win the fight so there no point in watching.

I can't believe Eric paired me with Chase. He knows that I don't fancy him very much. I want to feel bad for Eric but I can't, because I know if people ever found out about Marcus I wouldn't want their pity. So I'm sure he doesn't want or need mine which I am totally fine with.

I know since I came from Abnegation and since I lived with Marcus I am supposed to be afraid of getting close to people and I am, but with Eric it's different for some reason. I don't know what to call it but whenever I am with him I feel happier. I have a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Even if he is being the mean dauntless leader that everyone knows, I can't help but admire the good qualities about him. Then my mind drifts off to who knows where like it is right now.

"Chase, Stiff! Time to fight!", Eric tells us.

I try to swallow my nervousness but it ends up feeling like I'm trying drink cement.

I walk past Eric and "accidentally" step on his foot and he groans quietly so only I can hear him.

As I am walking to the ring I see Chase smirking. We stand across each other and I try to remember everything we were taught. I remember that Chase is strong but he has bad technique. His punches are sloppy and he has a bullet wound so that's another weakness.

"Fight"

Chase runs towards me to try pin me down but I duck under his arms. Quickly before he turns around I jump to jab him in the back of his neck while kicking him in the side. He stumbles to the side and turns around. "You bitch", he tries to pick me up but I slide underneath him. He turns around and punches me in the temple. I'm disoriented for a bit and he takes the chance to punch me in the shoulder right where my bullet wound is. I fall to the ground and make it look like I passed out. He turns around to his friends and yells in victory. I quickly get up, step on the foot he got shot in, jump and wrap my legs around his neck. Chase falls to the ground and groans in pain. I continue to choke him until he passes out then I let go.

I step out of the ring and see Tobias circle my name.

I walk over to wear I was standing before, next to Tris, and start to feel dizzy. I see big black. Spots disappearing and reappearing in my vision. I stumble and next thing I know is that I'm falling and someone catches me right before I hit the ground and I feel the familiar shiver and burn go through my body right before my whole world goes black.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys sorry I haven't posted in so long. I've been pretty busy. Here's the next chapter!**

**Also shoutout to my #1 fan Willow. I lava you!**

**ALL RIGHTS TO QUEEN ROTH!**

I wake up to an unfamiliar room. As I try to sit up my head throbs and I immediately put my hand to my head.

Someone pushes me back to the bed I'm in,"you don't want to do that. Just sit hear and rest for a while." I realize it's Eric.

I lay back down and bury my head in the sheets. My head hurts so much but the smell of the sheets soothe me. I pick my head up to look around then look at him confused. Where am I?

Eric sighs,"You're in my apartment if that's what you are wondering."

I groan and bury face back in the sheets taking in the scent of Eric. He smells like mint, and something distinctly male.

I have so many questions running through my mind. So many I want him to answer but I can't. I don't know why I can't talk to him. I don't know why I can't talk to anyone.

He put a hand on my back and I'm frozen. "Are you alright." I swat is hand away, still mad at him for acting so bipolar.

"What the fuck stiff? What is your problem?"

I turn away from his pillow saturated in his intoxicating scent and stare up at him. I try to look angry at him but I think he sees the sadness behind my eyes.

"What did I do?" He asks me with obvious concern in his voice.

What did you do? I have no idea what I am feeling. Whenever I am around him I feel like I am about to melt. I feel like I might turn into liquid only by him looking at me, but then he opens his stupid mouth and I get so angry.

Thinking back to his question, I reply by looking down and suddenly being intrigued with the lines on the palms of my hands.

"Fine don't tell me. You know stiff, I don't know why I even bother."

I don't know either.

"Do you even want to live?"

I don't know.

"You're always walking around emotionless,"

Sounds familiar.

"or like you're waiting for something."

I'm waiting for Marcus to find me again, because I need to be ready. I need to be ready if he comes back. No not if he comes back. When he comes back.

Eric's rambling is cut off by the growling of my stomach. I immediately look down at my stomach thankful for it saving me from the anger of Eric, because I don't think I could take anymore.

"Oh I forgot to tell you", Eric mutters quietly, "you passed out from not eating all day and all the physical activities combined with not having any food had negative effects as you can see. So in my opinion when it's meal time, you have a meal."

Spoken like a true Erudite, I almost scoff. Obliviously he was because no dauntless born would ever talk like that and because of his tattoo I saw this morning.

Eric walks to the kitchen to get me food I'm assuming. He walks back in with a tray consisting of eggs, bacon, toast, and a drink that I don't know what the substance is. He sets down the food in front of me and I glance at the clock on his bedside table, it reads 12:32 AM. I turn back at him and give him a questioning look. Why would he be giving me breakfast in the middle of the night.

"What", he questions. "I always see you eat a lot at breakfast, so I assumed that you liked breakfast", he says defensively.

A small smile appears on my face. He's not wrong I did eat a lot at breakfast the first day I was here. Also I love breakfast foods. I can eat it for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

I pick up the cup with strange substance in it. I try to examine the dull brown colored liquid by looking at it curiously. Eric senses my confusion.

"I don't really have much to drink here besides beer and this. It's lemonade mixed with iced tea", then he mumbles quietly,"I already had it made cuz it's my favorite."

I pick up the glass and bring it to my lips. I take a sip. It taste so good. I have never had anything like it. I smile.

"I'm guessing you like it", Eric questions.

I nod while picking up the bacon and crumbling it in pieces over the eggs. I scoop it up into to my mouth and moan. I didn't realize how hungry I was. I feel eyes burning into the side of my head and turn towards Eric. He looks confused but then shakes his head and smirks.

I look at him confused. What did I do? Why is he laughing at me?

"You're so cute", Eric says.

I widen my eyes. What? Eric thinks I'm cute? What? Why? I don't- I- What?

Then Eric widens his eyes. I don't think he meant to say that out loud.

He coughs, " I meant uh you're really weird stiff." I think he tries to say this sternly but failed.

I just continue eating, taking sips of the lemonade and iced tea concoction and bites of toast.

We sit in a silence that's almost comfortable but there is still a hint of awkwardness in the air.

"Stiff?"

I turn towards him raising my eyebrows.

"Why don't you ever talk?"

Ugh this question again. I don't know? I just can't bring myself to trust people. I feel like once I start talking to someone I feel like they immediately start to judge me. Then they will hurt me and I can't handle anymore pain.

I look away from him. I look at at my lap. I look anywhere except for him. I feel bad for not trusting him. I don't like hurting people because I know what it feels like.

"You know what, fucking fine! Get the hell out! I can't take anymore of this shit!"

I look at him bewildered. I'm completely startled by his sudden outburst.

"My fucking God do you not speak English", he questions getting angrier by the second. "I SAID GET THE HELL OUT!"

I rip the sheet off of myself and scramble out the door. I am dizzy from getting up so fast but I manage to keep my balance.

I almost get lost walking back to the initiates dorm but I find my way eventually.

I climb in my bed and try to fall asleep but my mind is clouded with too many thoughts. I don't understand Eric. Does he hate me? I slowly fall asleep with these thoughts in my mind.

Page Break

I skip breakfast and sleep a little more since I was up all night and I kinda already ate breakfast.

Once I'm dressed in my skinny jeans, long sleeve shirt, and combat boots, I throw my long, wavy dark brown hair in a ponytail and run out the door.

I make it to the training room just as Tris starts talking to the initiates.

"Okay, today we will be fighting again. Then after lunch we will be doing knife training."

Then Eric speaks up,"Here are the pairings for today." He steps away from the board and I immediately search for my name.

Tina - Stiff

Chase - Drake

Megan - Amber

I guess I'm fighting Tina first. I haven't seen her fight other than when we were training, but I know that she's fast. Tina is really tall like Amber, so she towers over me. I'm just as fast as her so I have a good chance at winning.

"Stiff, Tina, in the ring", Eric commands.

I step in the ring with Tina. She smirks at me. She's kinda cocky, and annoying. So is her friend Megan. I wish there were more people in my initiate class.

Page Break

When the fight ends I'm woken up by someone shaking me.

"Get up stiff, this is pathetic!"

Eric. I blink a couple times and Eric roughly pulls me up. He looks into my eyes and looks concerned, but that look goes as soon as it came. I feel like I must have imagined it.

"Go over by the other initiates and watch the next fights."

I hang my head and do what he says. My head starts to throb at the motion. Tina punched me there really hard, then I banged my head on the floor afterwords. That what made me pass out.

Suddenly my stomach lurches and I don't feel so good, I run to the trash can near the doorway. Everything I ate for breakfast starts to come back up. Someone comes from behind me and gathers my hair together so it doesn't fall in front of my face, since it fell out during my fight. I continue to release the contents that were in my stomach out of my mouth. The person holding my hair starts to rub soothing circles on my back. When I think I'm done with this fantastic activity, I wipe my mouth with my sleeve and turn around.

Then I whisper barely moving my lips, "Thanks Tris."


End file.
